The Six Lessons Jiu Jitsu Taught Me as a Blue Belt

Lessons from 2023

1. Not all pain is dangerous.

2. Always stand up for yourself.

3. Jiu jitsu is therapy.

4. Consistent and focused training delivers results.

5. The one who acts first in uncertainty is more likely to succeed.

6. Jargon, used properly, is a map, not a tool of gatekeeping.

Not All Pain Is Dangerous

As you train in jiu jitsu, you learn that pain is nothing more than an acute and burning sensation felt in the moment. It does not necessarily lead to imminent harm. A much better barometer for gauging your limits is the risk of injury.

It’s not that you should avoid pain. It’s more that you should avoid injuries. Injuries take you out of the game for days, weeks, or months on end. They may destroy your ability to walk, to shampoo the back of your head, or to stand on your two feet. Pain does not always do this.

You may feel pain when someone is shoving their fist into your neck to strangle you. But if you don’t pass out, then perhaps that pain was mere discomfort. You can also feel very little pain in situations that are extremely injurious. Heel hooks can shred your MCL or LCL. They aren’t painful until it’s too late. Then you can’t run or train for 6 months.

Pain is thus not the best barometer for danger. I thought that the higher the belt, the more of a “tolerance” for pain he has. Now I know that higher belts actually have a better understanding of when pain becomes dangerous.

More broadly, just because your emotions scream “danger” does not always mean that you are. It may just be discomfort.

Stand Up For Yourself, Even Against Someone Stronger

I joined jiu jitsu to help me argue with people without fear of physical interactions. I then learned that jiu jitsu wouldn’t give this to me. Why? There’ll always be someone stronger, more intimidating, treacherous, or psychopathic than you. But that isn’t why you should speak up, or stand up for yourself.

You should do it for two reasons.

One is that you don’t need to win, you just need to deter. You don’t have to win a fight to deter future ones. You just have to present a credible threat. If you can do that, and speaking up or standing up for yourself is in itself often a threat, then you let the bully know that fucking with you comes with costs, such that future bullying becomes too much of a hassle to go through with.

Two is that whatever happens after you speak the truth is the best that can be. Do not tolerate behaviour or speech that you do not like, and discuss any intrusions that may occur when it happens as soon as possible. It doesn’t need to be a full blown argument. They just need to know that 1) you noticed it, 2) you thought that it was an incursion.

Jiu jitsu is therapy.

Jiu jitsu forces you to confront unresolved problems. One that I had was the “fitting in” problem. In junior high, I didn’t fit in because I tried too hard to join peer groups that did not want me, and undervalued the ones that did.

This issue re-emerged when I first joined my current jiu jitsu gym. I felt like I did not fit in when I went to our social gatherings and when we hung out. But instead of trying to fit in again this time, I chose to do something else: not give a damn about fitting in. I decided that I was there to do jiu jitsu, not to “fit in”, and thus that’s what I would focus on. After about a year, I then started to feel that I did, in fact, fit in. It was through not trying to fit in that I somehow fit in.

The fitting in problem is just one of many issues that I got to sort out at jiu jitsu because they presented themselves to me. The benefit is that now that I’m older (24) and have more experiences under my belt, I can deal with situations that I didn’t know how to deal with when I was younger using new tools that I’ve gained since I first confronted the problem. Every time that I do so, I fix my soul. Jiu jitsu is therapy.

Consistent and focused training delivers results.

This was such a rewarding lesson to learn. It’s tough to make sacrifices and investments for “the future” when you are used to unpredictable environments. Leaving such environments takes much effort before you believe that it’s worthwhile to sacrifice the present for future rewards. Jiu jitsu is one way that you can learn this. I’m a much better grappler than when I first started two years ago. I can tell this because when I roll with new people who come into the gym, they just fall into my submissions now. They don’t smash me. They are clumsy without knowing how, but this goes away very quickly as long as they just keep coming (I say this all knowing that I went through this too). It’s thanks to the consistent and focused jiu jitsu training that you see improvements in a gradual, hard-fought for, but rewarding way.

The one who acts in uncertainty is more likely to succeed.

I find wrestling hard because there are so many possibilities for what can happen. There’s a counter to every move you do. There are possibilities for catastrophic injury. And it is unpleasant to get slammed onto the mats. This paralyzed me. And that wasn’t good, because I didn’t end up taking people down! I had the false belief that I needed max information before going for a take down.

This is wrong. The more you act in situations of imperfect knowledge, the less you focus on what the other person may know or not know, and the more you focus on how you can get them to fall into your game plan instead. Thus, you don’t need to know very much about them at all! You just need to know how to get them into the positions where you have an advantage.

And more importantly, the more you shoot and fail, the quicker you learn what works and doesn’t work. Since I’m stubborn, I have to fail 1000 times instead of 100 before I learn how to do a takedown properly. Every time I don’t take a shot, I delay my learning. Don’t be a coward. Face the unknown, and you will likely be better off than he who just stands paralyzed.

I definitely took this to heart in my real life. I quit my side hustle (aka my job insurance) because it seemed cowardly and because it was preventing me from learning everything I could at my full-time job.

Jargon, used properly, is a map, not a gatekeeping tool.

Complex language (jargon) can have many purposes. Sometimes, professionals use long, complicated words to camouflage a lack of knowledge and certainty from those who have no knowledge. Professionals may use jargon to maintain a monopoly over a system of resources, like lawyers with the legal system. Lastly, professionals use jargon to camouflage subversive goals, like how Critical Studies professors use nonsensical language to introduce Marxism into the institutions that their students join (read this and watch this for more).

But language doesn’t have to be complex. Moving to a foreign country with a foreign language teaches you that you can survive in 95% of interactions with locals by knowing just a few simple words and phrases: thank you, no, can I order a ______, go away, how much, yes please. Complicated language is not necessary and can gatekeep, hide uncertainty, and subvert.

But jiu jitsu taught me something else: that jargon is a map. You can use jargon, as it is used in jiu jitsu, as a map. Detailed language lets you ask more precise questions, troubleshoot at a more granular level, and thus gain a more detailed understanding of a subject matter.

My experience with jiu-jitsu has shown that jargon can be a valuable tool. In this context, detailed language facilitates precise questions, better troubleshooting, and a deeper understanding of the subject. The key is in its application: jargon should be limited to what is essential for problem-solving and sharing knowledge, making it memorable and practical. Should a beginner at jiu jitsu learn what “octopus guard” or “spider guard” or “mission control” is? No need. They just need to know the basics to start: mount, side control, back, guard, north south, shrimp, bridge. But once they encounter problems in spider guard or octopus guard, then can then use jargon they’ve learned to troubleshoot.

In any case, true jargon is a map and helps you solve problems.